Friday, February 27, 2015

It's CPAC Weekend! Get Your Popcorn Ready!

If you are like me…a person who believes that the dysfunction of our government is exceeded only by the inanity of the discourse offered by those who run it; then this weekend is for you.

For this is CPAC weekend. CPAC…the Conservative Political Action Conference…where the movers and shakers of the conservative movement come together to poke, prod, schmooze and choose their future leaders. Where presidential wannabes spout bat crazy stuff to woo a brain dead base; hopeful that the requisite inflammatory rhetoric of today will be forgotten by more thoughtful voters in the future. The comedic value of this extravaganza is off the charts.

Priority one among those taking the rostrum…bash presumptive Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton. After all when you don’t anything resembling a substantive policy thought in your repertoire what else are you going to do?

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is there. He is currently leading in the polls. Walker would have us believe that his stint as governor qualifies him for the presidency. When asked how serving as governor qualifies him for making foreign policy decisions like fighting ISIS; Walker said: “If I can take on a 100,000 protesters, I can do the same across the world.” Let’s think about that. Taking on a bunch of angry elementary school teachers bearing signs and Starbucks versus a bunch of armed fanatical extremists who lop off people’s heads to make a point. I can certainly see the similarities.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz is in attendance. He accused Hillary of being on the payroll of foreign nations. When asked by host Sean Hannity to describe Hillary with the first word that pops into his head, Cruz said: “Washington.” After Hannity, doing his best Bill Clinton impression, asked a young “chick” in the audience to meet him backstage; he asked Cruz his one word response to “Bill Clinton.” Cruz said:” youth outreach.” Funny! That’s two words.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christy is in the house. He deflected his state’s poor economic performance by telling a questioner that “Sometimes It’s ok to tell people to sit down and shut up.”

Mogul Donald Trump rolled in. He says that he is very seriously considering a run at the White House in 2016. Seriously! He said he has even put his “Apprentice” TV shtick on hold while he contemplates his decision. In case you forgot…he said the same thing in 2012. Production for the “Apprentice” doesn’t start until May. Look for Trump to bow out then…just like he did two years ago.

Former HP CEO Carly Fiorina addressed the crowd. She challenged Clinton to “name an accomplishment.” And she drew large applause when she said that Clinton: “doesn’t know the meaning of leadership.” Fiorina is best known for running Hewlett Packard into the ground before taking a $20 million dollar buy out to hit the road.

Sarah Palin is there. Enough said.

The big speech at this year’s CPAC soirée will be delivered this afternoon by Jeb Bush. But trouble is already brewing. Evidently a movement is afoot by those who see Jeb as “too squishy” a conservative represent the interests of the base. Rumor has it that a large number of the base intend to walk out of the hall when Jeb begins his remarks. To counteract said rumor, pro-Bush forces are busing in Bush supporters to arrive early and fill the seats; thus avoiding the embarrassing videos of Jeb addressing an empty room.

CPAC! It’s going to be a show. Get your popcorn ready!

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