Monday, January 27, 2014

Republican Disfunction

Republican Senator Rand Paul appearing on Sunday’s “Meet the Press” says that accusing Republicans of waging a “war on women” is unfair because Bill Clinton preyed on a 20 year old intern.
The Arizona state Republican Party has censured Senator John McCain because he is not conservative enough.  Party leaders referred to McCain’s “disastrous” voting record as their reasoning for the censure.  No further action is planned…meaning the only reason for the censure is to embarrass the five term senator.
Republicans plan to air not one…not two…but three rebuttals to the president’s State of the Union address.  Because what the American people want is more partisan bickering.
Looking forward to 2016…Republicans feel that they need to nominate someone from outside the Washington beltway to run against Hillary Clinton.  Party leaders are focusing on current or past governors because “Governors know how to balance budgets and get things done.”  The all star cast being considered includes:
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker – Walkers’ resume includes breaking the teachers’ union, cutting government jobs and slashing government employee benefits.  Walker’s unpopular policies resulted in massive demonstrations and a petition for his recall.  Walker barely withstood a recall vote.
Florida Governor Rick Scott – Scott has the lowest approval rating of any sitting US governor.  He helped pass legislation requiring welfare recipients to pass drug tests before receiving benefits…because if you are on welfare you must be a crack head.  Less that 1% tested positive.  Scott has never answered questions regarding what he knew about a 1997 multi-million dollar insider trading scandal involving a chain of hospitals he owned.  Scott invoked his 5th amendment rights 75 times in a deposition on the matter.  Because the suit was settled out of court Scott never had to tell all of what he knew.
Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee – More preacher than politician, Huckabee recently criticized Democrats for insulting “the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control, because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government…”  We didn’t realize that women were so easily persuaded. 
Former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell – The former governor has just been indicted on federal corruption charges for receiving cash, loans and gifts in exchange for political influence.  The governor’s former claim to fame was his proposal of a bill requiring that women undergo a trans-vaginal ultrasound prior to undergoing an abortion.  On a happier note…McDonnell was chosen to give the Republican rebuttal speech to President Obama’s State of the Union address in 2010.
Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush – Governor Bush is…well…a “Bush.”
The Republican Party…the gift that keeps on giving.          

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